“Daddy, why do we live in a tent in the Walmart parking lot?” asked Charly as he ate his slice of bread.
“Because we’re rich with love and friendship.”
“Huh, can I have some more mustard for my slice of bread?”
“We’re not that rich you little shit! Now hand me that rat head I get first lick,” said Freddy as he waited anxiously for the rat.
“Is this how rich people eat?” asks Charly as he hands Freddy the rat head.
“They wish they had it this good. Now, Charly, did you steal the extra napkins because I gotta take a crap?”
Charly grimaced as he slowly handed Freddy the last of the napkins. “Boy I wish I had some ketchup packets for dessert. Are there any left?” asks Charly hopefully as he pulled a cricket out of his armpit.
“Come on now Christmas is a month away! I’ll let you have a rat lick, but that’s it. Stop being so greedy!”
“Why don’t you get a job, Daddy?”
“Why don’t you shut up. Most kids don’t have it this good remember that,” said Freddy as he strutted naked around the tent.
“Dad are you a bum? I ask because you smell bad, real bad and you don’t have a cent in your pants. Plus didn’t you panhandle the librarian?
“I only asked if she had 20 she could lend me.”
“But you can’t pay her back.”
“Just watch, I bought 20 dollars worth of scratch off tickets. Huh, that’s right the old man is whip smart! We’ll be livin’ the good life soon enough,” said Freddy as he handed Charly half the tickets.
“Why didn’t you buy food? These tickets could all be losers,” said Charly sadly as he scratched off a ticket with his fingernail.
“Ya know you’re a mouthy little shit. I might revoke your tent privileges.”
“Wait, we won!”
“How much, Charly?” asked Freddy as Charly handed him the ticket.
“We won a free ticket, we’re rich!”
“Great, that’s gives us another chance at the million. I knew we’d win on one of these tickets,” said Freddy happily as he scratched off another ticket.
“What if they’re all losers?” asked Charly as he smiled slightly.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got a spare rat I’ve been savin’. You can’t tell me I don’t know what I’m doing.”
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Tagged: #fun, comedy, humor, sarcastic, shortfiction
Good stuff!
One grammatical error-
“Great, that’s“
🙂